Stages you must endure in a relationship

Stages you must endure in a relationship

Stages you must endure in a relationship

We all want someone who will love us forever and with affection. At some point things might go wrong and one might end up thinking that they made the wrong choice of partner. But it is always good to make the right choice before getting into each other. Love might also come with its repercussions and if you are not ready, don’t go for it. Everyone is in pursuit of real and lasting love. Do not just rush into things simply because of the feelings that you initially had. Take your time and think about it. Ask yourself questions. Do both of you have something in common? Can both of you take care of each other? Figure out everything before making a decision.

I am not talking about this from a personal experience but it’s simply the reality and I decided to share it after conducting some research.

Same way, love can blind us and prevent us from seeing the reality. This is not a rare mistake. Most people will make this mistake. Because relationship has stages, this mistakes are evident at the first stage. Just like life itself, these stages act as tests for your compatibility with each other.

Your current relationship may meet your expectations. In contrast to that, not all relationships lead to marriage. This might seems devastating. But it also depends on whether both of you are compatible or comfortable with each other. So evaluate yourselves at each stage and if at any point you feel uncomfortable, think about it.

The first stage has obviously been experienced by everyone. It’s the infatuation stage. At this stage, the two have unreasonable feelings for each other. You’ve just known each other for let’s say a few weeks. The two will just do anything to be together, guided by an uncontrollable urge and intense attraction.  You can’t even try to make each other angry. It is a stage that everyone enjoys and feels like every of their problems has been fixed. This stage you only focus on the good things you can offer. Well, it might be true love or lust.

The second stage is the understanding stage. Whereby each of you start understanding each other better. Long conversations, everything about the two of you seem interesting and fascinating. The conversation flows and you both like it.

At the third stage, you face disturbances from every corner. Challenges. Both of you confront each other due to a disagreement you had. Some might solve it faster while for others it might take a while. Now at this stage you feel deceived by the good things about him/her at the second stage. You feel like they have turned their back on you.

Fourth stage. A stage whereby both of you create opinions on each other and you both know what to expect from each other. You make different assumptions about them and compare them with your expectations. You expect him to do something for you but he doesn’t. Take your time and find out the reason behind it. If he keeps on forgetting the important commitments, then now it’s up to you to make a decision. Quitting might be an option to avoid depression. 

Stage five is the moulding stage. First of all, congratulations if you managed not to quit at stage four. Now, you had your expectations, likes and dislikes. Here, you try to mould each other to meet your wants. Let’s say you have recently observed a behaviour that you don’t like about your partner. You now try to convince each other to change your behaviour. This is a struggling stage since one might end the relationship if you are still having disagreements. 

The last stage. The relationship is past the moulding stage and you manage to survive all the struggles. Now you can consider yourselves compatible to each other. You understand each other very well. This is also called the attachment stage and both parties may decide to get married.

In which stage did you quit?


Nicholas Mwololo

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